A stranger on a train. A classmate in the cafeteria. A bouncer at the club. A smooth poser in Lumpy Space. To whomever it may be, explaining your Lapka is something you might want to prepare yourself for. For starters, Lapka is real.

“This is my Lapka. There are four devices that measure radiation, electromagnetic fields, humidity and how organic your produce is. I connect them to my iPhone and the Lapka app makes all this stuff easy and fun to understand. Do you want to see what the environment’s doing right now?”

Devices

Lapka Radiation measures all of the radioactive particles around you. It’s sensitive to low levels of hard beta and gamma particles and averages the amount it detects over time (running the test for longer than two minutes will yield more accurate results).

Legal limits for radiation vary based on the scenario, and Lapka provides health guidelines for each. For example, a baby’s legal limit is much lower than that of an airplane at 10,000 feet. Lapka knows to analyze in relation to this when you choose either the Airplane or Baby preset in the app.

Let’s clear the air. Lapka EMF does not detect ghosts.

Electromagnetic fields (EMF’s) can be caused by electronic devices, wireless transmitters, or nearby power lines. Lapka EMF takes measurements of both High Frequency and Low Frequency fields and can detect cell phone antenna activity, microwaves or exposed wires.

This information will reveal the spots with the least electromagnetic pollution. That’s where you might want to put your yoga mat.

Lapka Humidity simultaneously measures the temperature and relative humidity of your environment. It combines and compares the results with our knowledge base of comfort standards to help you better understand your personal climate at any moment.

Different scenarios - for example, wine storage and sleep comfort — call for different temperatures and levels of moisture. Don’t sleep in your wine cellar.

Lapka Organic basically detects whether or not raw fruits and vegetables were grown organically. The little probe simply measures ionic conductivity, which correlates to the quantity of nitrates left behind from nitrogen-based fertilizers.

Each fruit and vegetable has a defined limit for nitrate concentration, and conductivity that significantly exceeds these limits suggests the use of non-organic farming practices. Head’s up, Whole Foods!

The App and It’s Many Secrets

What’s that pretty moving stuff at the bottom of your screen? You’ll notice the animated particles match the symbol on the device you’re using. These are representations of every particle counted in your environment.

It is simply beautiful to look at and allows you to visualize your environment in real time.

Save your results. They’ll be stored in your Lapka diary as little blocks, which you can access when a device is not plugged in. Give your iPhone a shake and the blocks will shift from device used to preset used to the type of result.

You can review each moment you captured in an individual day or explore by month.

There are various options for sharing your measurements. Email an office measurement to your employer who’s thinking of getting some humidifiers for the workplace. Text a radiation result to a family member, letting them know you’re safe and sound. Tweet about how fresh and delicious your apple is. Or simply choose to copy the result and paste it anywhere you feel like.

When you share, a link is provided that brings you to a beautiful, animated visualization of the moment you captured. If your result is saved to your diary, you can always share it later.

If you take five measurements in one day, a crystal will appear in your diary. But don’t get too attached to these guys. When you receive your fifth crystal, it turns into a stone.

There are plenty of stones to uncover, and not one of them is ordinary. For instance, who’s ever heard of a bubblegum crystal?

Environment Map

You’ve taken your reading and stored it in your diary. You even emailed it to your Mom. Where else can this data go? Well, into any brain on the planet.

Lapka readings from all over the world are now viewable in real time. When you take a reading it is automatically sent to Lapka’s server and displayed on a beautifully designed map. There’s a mobile version in the app and a desktop version at map.mylapka.com.

Keep the conversation going.

Please note:

If you can get all of this information across in a few sentences, consider yourself an economical human.

If you’re using your Lapka primarily as a fashion accessory, that’s a whole different conversation we’d love to have.